December 28, 2007 6:29 AM PST

A brief guide to getting the goods on cheating spouses

(Credit: Check Mate Semen Detection Kit)

High-tech can protect soldiers in the field, but it hasn't been much use against that age-old threat on the home front; and that's Jody, the 4-F opportunist of yore, who's busy bird-doggin' Snuffy's wife while he's 7000 miles away dodging RPGs.

Time was, the cuckold only began to suspect something amiss when he arrived home to find an off brand butt in the car ashtray or a different flavor of beer in the fridge. No more. Here are a few suggestions on how to keep an eye on things while the cat's away.

The USB Key Snoop is an innocuous-looking keylogger device that plugs into any keyboard and stores more than "128,000 keystrokes including e-mail, chat, IM, internet addresses and more". Data is stored inside the device as the keys are typed, according to the company. To check on who's been surfing philanderers.com, simply type-in a password and the Key Snoop shows who's been where. There's no software to install, just plug the Key Snoop into the USB port, then replug the keyboard and it's ready to record.

(Credit: Key Snoop)
Here's another approach: A miniature 16 channel, water resistant, covert GPS tracking system to attach to your honey's car. It's motion activated and includes integrated GPS and cellular antennas, plus software for fast downloading and a flash memory to back-up the evidence. "What time did you say you were at the Laundromat?"

Remember, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Take precautions with this cigarette lighter-powered Anti GPS Tracking Device. Just plug it in and it's good-to-go. It knocks out GPS logging or GPS tracking systems that may be operating on your vehicle, making "it very hard for anyone to keep tabs on you", according to the manufacturer. It sells for under $100, but if it's a matter of principal you can build your own GPS jammer, here.

This service here is like having the NSA at your disposal. A Brit outfit called World Tracker reportedly uses cell tower data (or GPS, when available) to track the location of GSM cell phones and displays their location to within 150 feet on a Google Maps-based interface. The service hasn't reached the US yet and but it should work soon around Dependent housing in Germany. Upon activation, the cell phone owner receives a text message and is supposed to authorize the tracking, but there's got to be a way around that.

Finally, for $65 and change, "put an end to suspicions of infidelity and doubt with this Check Mate semen detection kit." It contains everything needed to detect semen on undergarments or clothing, for up to 2 years if "they haven't been washed" even if the stains are invisible. The test only takes five minutes, so they can't get far.

Please consult the post chaplain before deploying these assets.

Originally posted at Military Tech
Mark Rutherford is a West Coast-based freelance writer. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network, and is not an employee of CNET. Email him at markr@milapp.com. Disclosure.
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Add a Comment (Log in or register) 4 comments
Cheating Spouse
by Pete.Goswell December 29, 2007 7:03 PM PST
If either of you is that paranoid, get a divorce
Reply to this comment
It's a new age of spying
by cameras-n-gifts December 31, 2007 1:51 AM PST
ESPECIALY with hidden cameras,spy cameras and now easy downloads of personal items from your own computers. WOW
It's a new age.

anyone want to catch them on film?
cameras-n-gifts.com just set up new hidden spy camera
category
Pamela
Reply to this comment
this stuff is bad
by fu2wifehaters February 8, 2008 9:29 PM PST
My girl friend married a control freak, and didnt know it until too late. He put gps trackers on all her stuff, when she tried to leave him he attempted to kill her. She was not cheating on him, she is a good person and her husband almost murdered her and is still out there stalking her and who knows which other poor girl. How would you guys like it if it was your sister, cousin etc. I say ban this stuff except for Law enforcement.
Reply to this comment
by mentorgirl September 5, 2008 1:24 PM PDT
I agree with the person that posted that ONLY LAW ENFORCEMENT should have access to these devices. These DO have the potential to cause domestic violence in most cases. People will end up dead one day b/c of these, if it hasn't happened already. Some may say that the cheeating spouse is to blame BUT not every situation is a cheating situation. THESE NEED TO BE BANNED FROM THE PUBLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!
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